Final Assignment- Music Freewrite

Song in subject: Train- I'm about to come alive.

It is rather hard to type with a contrasting rhythm in the background. I feel like maybe the rate at which I hit these keys should follow accordingly, but it doesn't. And it shouldn't. Ever notice how people always signify in their online profiles that music is their passion? It makes me shrug. Who doesn't it affect? Whose mood does it not change? Who doesn't lose themselves in music? Who, in the circumstances that I'm in, wouldn't love this song? When turned on, music can alter a person like a chemical can. See, I was perfectly fine before I started playing this song. And now, like I asked for it or something, I'm lost from where the moment was looking like it was taking me. On a separate path, feeling sadness consume me, and losing focus from what was once an emotional-free moment. But that's life. And there are other problems in the world than the ones I have. And music, like an enemy, will not have its way with me this evening.
Funny thing, a freewrite it supposed to be an altered written stream of consciousness, right? Here's the deal. It's engraved inside of me to fix every grammatical error upon writing it, that I can. And although there's probably 800 grammatical errors; the ones that I notice, I have to go back and fix immediately. But isn't as though I will be doing this at the end of the music. It's just the way it is in this existing state of affairs. I keep wanting to break the sentences with the lyrics that are pushing through the electronical activity in my brain. Would that be confusing? "Lies a face, that's seen it all."
Hey relationships.
They are what propell life. Relationships solely. And people look at them so differently. Me? I can't stand the thought of marriage. Why limit myself, and the love I have for the world, to one human being?
That's where the Peace Corps comes in.
My only reason for getting an education.
Well, besides to provide for the other little human being I've put in this world. He matters, too. But not relationships.
And if you think about it, the bad truly does outweigh the good. Or so it seems. Or so it seems to me, at least.
"Hey maybe, I'm not but you're all I've got left to believe in." And I found out real quickly in life that I am nothing. There is truth in nothing. Nobody can believe anything anybody says. T.V. is an ongoing pandemic of falsehood. Life is not about the individual. It is a game. A game for us all to realize the moment we put ourselves out of the picture, we've found the meaning to everything.
All I want to do is help people.
And although the Peace Corps is kind of glamorous, something I'm not too fond of, it's all I can think of that could fix these questions inside of me. You know, the ones that plague my reasoning. I feel I am too overwhelmed with meaning all of the time. So much meaning and I am smart enough to know that this life means nothing because perception is a myriad. Like before the music started, mood was a constant flat line. And now it's exponentially climbing to levels that I'd rather not address. How, in one moment, can things like that change? And where is consistency is mood? Where are the lines drawn and why keep following them? Why keep trying? The answers will never be answered. The best thing to do is just forget it all and just help. Really.
Trying to focus on the computer while Train seduces me in song is like trying to fight an internal war. Kind of like what I do every single day of my life.