Final Assignment- Music Freewrite

Song in subject: Train- I'm about to come alive.

It is rather hard to type with a contrasting rhythm in the background. I feel like maybe the rate at which I hit these keys should follow accordingly, but it doesn't. And it shouldn't. Ever notice how people always signify in their online profiles that music is their passion? It makes me shrug. Who doesn't it affect? Whose mood does it not change? Who doesn't lose themselves in music? Who, in the circumstances that I'm in, wouldn't love this song? When turned on, music can alter a person like a chemical can. See, I was perfectly fine before I started playing this song. And now, like I asked for it or something, I'm lost from where the moment was looking like it was taking me. On a separate path, feeling sadness consume me, and losing focus from what was once an emotional-free moment. But that's life. And there are other problems in the world than the ones I have. And music, like an enemy, will not have its way with me this evening.
Funny thing, a freewrite it supposed to be an altered written stream of consciousness, right? Here's the deal. It's engraved inside of me to fix every grammatical error upon writing it, that I can. And although there's probably 800 grammatical errors; the ones that I notice, I have to go back and fix immediately. But isn't as though I will be doing this at the end of the music. It's just the way it is in this existing state of affairs. I keep wanting to break the sentences with the lyrics that are pushing through the electronical activity in my brain. Would that be confusing? "Lies a face, that's seen it all."
Hey relationships.
They are what propell life. Relationships solely. And people look at them so differently. Me? I can't stand the thought of marriage. Why limit myself, and the love I have for the world, to one human being?
That's where the Peace Corps comes in.
My only reason for getting an education.
Well, besides to provide for the other little human being I've put in this world. He matters, too. But not relationships.
And if you think about it, the bad truly does outweigh the good. Or so it seems. Or so it seems to me, at least.
"Hey maybe, I'm not but you're all I've got left to believe in." And I found out real quickly in life that I am nothing. There is truth in nothing. Nobody can believe anything anybody says. T.V. is an ongoing pandemic of falsehood. Life is not about the individual. It is a game. A game for us all to realize the moment we put ourselves out of the picture, we've found the meaning to everything.
All I want to do is help people.
And although the Peace Corps is kind of glamorous, something I'm not too fond of, it's all I can think of that could fix these questions inside of me. You know, the ones that plague my reasoning. I feel I am too overwhelmed with meaning all of the time. So much meaning and I am smart enough to know that this life means nothing because perception is a myriad. Like before the music started, mood was a constant flat line. And now it's exponentially climbing to levels that I'd rather not address. How, in one moment, can things like that change? And where is consistency is mood? Where are the lines drawn and why keep following them? Why keep trying? The answers will never be answered. The best thing to do is just forget it all and just help. Really.
Trying to focus on the computer while Train seduces me in song is like trying to fight an internal war. Kind of like what I do every single day of my life.

6 Word Stories

1.) Worked all year, paid my fines.
2.)I kept crying, they kept laughing.
3.)Once upon a time, I loved.
4.)Had a baby, lost my mind.
5.)Lust comes easy, Love does not.

September 11th

September 11th didn't happen the way the mass media claims it did.
Having studied Broadcast Journalism for 4 years, it is important to know that it is up to the individual to take an experience for what it's worth, and not what CNN or NBC chooses in the information realm to display to you.
I did not know to question what I've heard on air at the time September 11th happened.
I was in the 8th grade.
Young and unaware, I can remember my teacher received a phone call on her cell.
Her eyes averted, she gasped, and then she motioned the rest of my classmates to forget the assignment of the day and watch the t.v. she had just turned on.
When the t.v. was turned on, only one tower had been hit. What happened next set the rest of the hallway off in a frenzy. My teacher panicked. I just observed.
School was immediately called off.
I selfishly embraced the situation with slight happiness.
The impact of what had happened didn't phase me until I got home.
I walked inside and my mother was crying. News stations were capturing images of people jumping off buildings.
The only thing my mother could mutter was that she feels so sorry for the families of the victims.
My father retired as the Springdale Fire Chief about 6 years ago.
The situation and the way it paralleled our own lives in the safe town of Springdale, really hit home for her. It could have been my father in one of those buildings.
It was only a matter of place and distance that this tragedy didn't directly impact our own family. The reality of that notion is the resounding memory I pulled away from September 11th.
What outweighs the memory now, is that most of September 11th was a lie.
There is too much information to include in one single blog post about the theories that surround that day. Summed up, and overall, it is important to know that you cannot believe everything you hear. ESPECIALLY from the mass media.

Diane Fras (August 10th, 1959-March 19th, 2009)

Let not the description of our assignment in the email serve as poetic justice.
As dooming as the objective described, and as salient as my sole resounding memory of Spring break 09' proves to be, my best friend's mother did truly die. And her funeral is tomorrow.
And I can't believe this really happened.
Diane Fras was the only true San Fransisco hippie that I knew.
She grew up in California and she was the mother to my best friend, who I commonly refer to as 'my sister.'
My 'Sister', Jacqui, will always be an amazing person deep inside because of who her mother was.
Diane didn't just die on Wednesday. A lot of her daughter did that day, too. And consequently, so have I.
After a 13-year battle with chronic pancreatitus, Diane ended the war with her disease, and was carried into the heavens. She left an amazing family behind. And I will never forget her.
I will never forget vacationing with the family.
Or how amazing her lasagna was.
Or how optimistic she remained throughout the years.
Rest in Peace, Diane.

CLOSER

After years of infidelity, Natalie Portman and and Jude Law lay in a bed together in a hotel room after getting back together for the last time. They are laying in bed and Jude opens with questions. He knows what Alice has done. "So he came to the club, watched you strip. You had a little chat and that was it?" "Yes," Alice replied. Jude replied with "I'm in love with you. You're safe. You had every right. Just tell me the truth." "Nothing happened," replied Alice. Jude gets up. "Where are you going?" "I'm getting cigarettes," replied Jude. "And when i get back, please tell me the truth. I'm addicted to it. Without it, we are animals." Jude leaves and Natalie stays in bed. He makes it half way down the stairs, decides to come back. He steals a rose from a stranger's door and returns. He walks into the room where Natalie is still laying. Before he can say anything Natalie opens up. "I don't love you anymore." Jude asks,"Since when?" "Now. Just now," says Natalie. "I don't want to lie. And i can't tell the truth so... it's over." Jude pleads with Natalie."It doesn't matter. I love you. None of it matters." "Too late. I don't love you anymore. goodbye." "And here's the truth so now you can hate me. Larry, "f***** me all night. I enjoyed it. I came. I prefer you. Now go." Jude is silent for a second and then replies "I knew that." "He told me." Alice looks concerned. "You knew?" Jude steps away. "I needed to hear it from you." "Why?" Jude replies, "Cause he might have been lying." Natalie begins crying. "I would have never told you cause I know you would never forgive me." Jude disagrees. "I would i have." "Why did he tell you?," asks Natalie. Jude replied looking smug. "Cause he's a bastard. He wanted this to happen."Natalie is severely offended "But why test me?" "Because I'm an idiot," Jude replies. Natalie ends with, "YES, I would have loved you. Forever. Now please go." Don't do this alice. Talk to me," Jude pleades. "I am talking, fuck off."

Pg. 46 # 2

1.) "To settle all the rumors......."
2.) "It began on the subway one rainy afternoon in Chicago..."
3.) "If I would have known what Spalunking meant before I offered myself up to try it, I may have saved myself a world of embarassment..."
4.) "It was all fun and games until the Cops showed up...."

Pg. 23 # 5

It was hard to see how beautiful she was behind her crooked teeth and dark-rimmed glasses. Her long, parted down the middle, unwashed hippie hair reminded me of the nineteen seventies. Still, this girl had the attention of every person in the room when she walked in. It was a subtle attention that nobody truly wanted to embrace but in the back of everybody's mind, we all knew she was the most gorgeous person alive. She decorated herself with peace signs from head to toe. She made me a painted box with quotes from Ghandi on them for Christmas. She lived to be an earth child. She lived for everybody but herself. It was for this reason that nobody could deny the energy she carried when she walked past you. Aesthetics meant nothing when it came to my best friend. Deep inside, she holds the most brilliant of characters and it shines on through. In the wake of one simple coversation you can hold with this girl, her kindness flows through the atmosphere... her happiness inspires... and her presence brightens the day. Everytime we part ways, she leaves me a better person.